Rose, Bud, Thorn

Hello Reader,

Spring is here and I’m starting to see the plants grow. Do you have a favorite flower, Reader?

“I do! I love roses. I remember at school we would put coloring dye in the water of roses, and they would bloom different colors.” – Reader.

That’s awesome! I didn’t know you could do that. Roses are beautiful but it sucks that they have so many thorns.

“Oh yeah, I’ve pricked myself on them a few…wait a minute…does this have to do something with therapy? OOoOoooOHhh, LiFe IS LiKe a RoSe…sOmEthInG aBouT PeRsPecTiVE. Be MOrE pOsiTiVe.” – Reader.

Hahaha oh it is always about therapy! In fact, life is like your own personal garden! We’re just going to talk about roses today.

“…keep talking…” – Reader.

When you think of a rose, what do you think of, Reader?

“Usually, the rose itself. Sometimes I’ll think of the thorns, too.” – Reader.

We also have the buds. Especially around this time of the year when they are about to bloom. It can be beneficial to face challenges similarly to a rose bush.

“…by hurting people with the thorns and only loving bees!!!” – Reader.

Hahaha really?! That’s the idea you get from roses?!

Each day we encounter three different parts, the roses, the buds, and the thorns. We often focus on just the thorns in our life but there is so much more than just the thorns!

“Oh, I like my idea better, but we’ll go with yours.” – Reader.

The thorns are the difficult and challenging things we experience. The buds are the parts of our life that still need to be nurtured. The roses are the parts of our life that are going well. Try it out, Reader.

“Okay so…the thorns today might be…feeling bad about myself, spilling my coffee, and…having to go to work tomorrow?” – Reader.

Yep! You got it! The key is not to stop there. What are the buds now?

“I did meal prep and go grocery shopping. I can see how that will bloom later this week.” – Reader.

Cool! Keep going but now with the roses. What has bloomed in your life recently?

"I did have a good weekend with friends. I finished reading a book last week. I mean if I really think about it and give myself credit, just getting out of bed today can be a rose.” – Reader.

Nice! This is a great skill to practice in challenging the negativity bias and some cognitive distortions. Practice it this week. You are the rose!!!

“I AM THE ROSE!!!” – Reader.

Key takeaways:

1)      It is normal to focus in on the negatives, difficulties, and challenges.

2)      Rose, bud, thorn exercise is just another way to support yourself on your mental health journey.

3)      Start with the thorns, the difficulties and challenges you are experience. Move to identifying the buds, the parts of your life that you are growing or wanting to grow. Then you identify the roses, the parts of you that are blooming. This can be a small or as large as you want them because a rose is still a rose.

5)      Don’t forget to take your strategic deep breath before and after you practice therapeutic skills.